Italys religion dino lingo12/29/2023 But rather than discarding the books and software packaging, white people will simply put them in the most visible part of their book shelf. After about a week, most white people will give up and blame someone for their failure (”this software is terrible,” “there aren’t enough people in Portland who speak Farsi!”). When this technique is unavailable or fails, white people will immediately turn to books and computer software as a last ditch effort to make good on their promise. There are some instances of white people doing this for almost a week! This means a promise to watch only Spanish language TV, listen only to Spanish language radio, read Marquez in his native tongue, and watch foreign films with the subtitles turned off. In order to reach this level of fluency and obnoxiousness, white people believe they must put themselves into a local immersion. When it comes to learning a new language, white people can follow a few paths, the most common of which is to try to learn a language that is popular in their current city.įor example, white people in places like Los Angeles or Austin, TX will often promise to learn Spanish in hopes of being able to ask local taco stands about whether or not their carne asada is grass fed (”¿Ha leído usted Michael Pollan?”). It fills them with so much shame that they will literally spend the rest of their lives promising to learn a new language, but not so much shame that they will actually do it. Amazingly this small amount of proficiency is more than enough to warrant inclusion on a resume under “spoken languages.”įor many white people the lack of a second language is their greatest secret shame. For the most part, these classes will only teach a white person how to order food in a restaurant, ask for a train schedule, and over pronounce words when they are mixed into English. This plan is first formulated when white people realize that two years of college Italian does not confer fluency. But by far the most common self improvement promise is to learn a new language. Writing a novel, going vegan, or sending their future kid to public school are just a few of these great breakable promises. Thankfully, modern white people are trying to erase the shame of the past by making promises to themselves that they will never keep. Learn Spanish, French, Italian, German, Japanese, Chinese for kids.Throughout history, white people have a pretty poor record when it comes to promises (see Americans, Native for examples).
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